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Well for once, I can report something positive.

I had anxiety overload, actually physically ill will fear about what was going to show up at christmas. This shouldnt happen at christmas but I had about 15 minutes to offload, to release my inner whats been saved up from within and I was a million times better.

Another positive was afterwards, it was reported to me that my Dad has been clean for a number of weeks, I am dubious at best in terms of the period of time that he has been clean, but throughout my time staying here there has been the odd complaint and hint about how he wants a drink, but no disasters. It’s been brilliant, been able to have a bit of banter with my dad and mum, and more specifically enjoy the relaxed comfort of being in my family home completely at ease. I have also enjoyed pulling my mum up on her moaning, almost moaning at her.

The next thing I was quite anxious about was my brothers gf, my instincts told me she would be selfish and stick to her “aye but i don't like him so im gonna make a point and not talk to him” so I made an effort to be charming and generally nice. She done it though, she generally behaved. Still dislike her attitude and general behaviour but I made that effort. It was nice to fully capitalise on the comfort of the family home, where I can do as I like and be comfortable with it.

Presents, was fucking amazing. I got two specific presents, one being a blank notepad that my mum decorated with my name and a weird pattern. Her thought process was that I could use it to write my stuff. Another was a tiny wee book thing, fully of bad christmas jokes. Amazing, she thought about it. Which is perfect.

Over the moon, totally comfortable and relaxed. I cant tell you how amazing it feels. I was so utterly terrified with it but for once I was happy.